Friday, January 27, 2012

Honest

Sometimes, life is hard
Sometimes, I want to run home, crawl under the covers, and hide
Sometimes, I wish I had never grown up
Sometimes, I wonder if I am depressed
Sometimes, I think that maybe my stomach issues are stress related, and thus, really self inflicted
Sometimes, I have nights where I just sit in my apartment and cry

Source: google.co.za via Rachel on Pinterest


I am not terminally ill
I am not living in a third world country
I have everything that I want
I live in a beautiful neighborhood in a beautiful city
And yet I feel sorry for myself for not reaching my self inflicted goals on my self made timeline...

And then I feel guilty for being such a horrible person


Source: google.com via Rachel on Pinterest


I try to be positive
I try to put it in perspective
I try to move forward with a smile on my face
But then something inside of me sucks me down into a whirlpool of darkness
And I just want to cry again

And then I read something from one of the brave women who are friends from miles away
Like Nina or Lindsay or Hannah
Or especially this guest post on my new favorite Living in Yellow by Lauren that hit really close to home
And I realize that, if nothing else, I'm not alone.
Thank you, to all of you, for being there, inspiring me to write and publish my own therapy
And most of all, for being honest.


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3 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for your honesty--my heart hurts for you as I read your words. Just know that you will be in my prayers this week. You are not alone but you are so very loved.

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  2. Aw sweetness... I love you! I think we all have times we feel the same way (I know I can certainly relate). Just because on the surface it may seem that you "have it all" does not in anyway discount how you feel. We all have the right to cry, to have bad days, to wish things were different, to feel sad. I hope you're able to find some ways to de-stress and de-clutter your life so that those feelings become less and less... and that your damn tummy starts feeling better! Also, I would totally love to flashback to first grade, if not just for a day. *Sigh.

    Feel better, doll!
    *Cait

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  3. Girl, we are so on the same page! I love you and am always here if you need to talk. Girls night needed for sure!

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